my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
