i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
