Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
