if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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