So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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