is your mom at the bar?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
