they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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