I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
