Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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