I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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