We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
