so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize