It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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