Well apparently he's into motor boating.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
