Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
