No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The beer is more important than you right now.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
