Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
