It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
