So drunk its hurt
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
