U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
