Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
