If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
