i was born a porn star she said
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
