my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
