Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
