My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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