3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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