You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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