god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
