i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
