I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
