well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
