SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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