A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize