I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
