If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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