I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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