Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
