yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
