is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
