Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize