Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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