I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
