I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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