I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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