Yo dont text me then not text me
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
