the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
