Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
