On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
