never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If I die, sorry about rent.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
