Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
