when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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