I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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