What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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