She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
