God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
sex in a hospital.. check
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
